Saturday, January 20, 2018
Dear Abby
Write a Dear Abby letter from one of the following perspectives (student, teacher, administrator, parent, friend). This scenario should deal with problems or issues that an adolescent might face today or any topic we have covered in this course. Post the letter on the blog by 1/27. You will then answer someone else's letter from a different perspective. You can just post the scenario in a comment below.
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Dear Abby,
ReplyDeleteThe other day while I was teaching one of my History classes, I heard a bunch of my students referring to another student of mine as the “school shooter.” As you can imagine, I was caught off guard. I calmly addressed the group and told them this was not acceptable and I did not want to hear this kind of talk again. I feel that he was targeted because he is the only white student in that class and the group stated “he looks the part.” Thank God, the student they were talking about was not in class that day.
Our school has a strict no bullying policy but is this considered bullying if it is not said directly to the child? Do you think I handled the situation correctly? Should I pull the group of kids out and speak to them with the school counselor or leave it alone, unless it is brought up again? Please help me make the right decision.
Truly,
A Distressed Teacher
Dear Distressed Teacher,
DeleteThis does seem like a complicated situation. I think you did the right thing by immediately acknowledging what you heard as inappropriate and it would not be tolerated. I think as the teacher my next step would be to ask the advice or opinion of an experienced teacher or bring it to the attention of either the school councilor or a member of administration. With situations like these you can never be too cautious for the safety of your students. Especially if this is potentially an incident of bullying, you can’t ignore it or neglect to take it seriously.
You could also consider having a conversation with your students about respect. Students should be respecting one another and “treating others how they want to be treated.” It never hurts to have this conversation with students and it may help strengthen your classroom community as well as reduce future incidents similar to this one.
Good luck in your classroom and I hope it all works out!
Abby
Suggestions based off of information found in Chapter 2 of Brighton (2007)
“Bullying behavior needs to be confronted and its prevalence reduced.” (p. 32)
“…destructive ramifications for both the perpetrator and the injured party.” (p.31)
Dear Abby,
ReplyDeleteI feel like I might ruin a friendship. My friends and I are always posting pictures on the school’s public snapchat story anonymously to see if we can figure out if we posted them. The other day as I was waiting in the lunch line, I saw my friend across the room eating her food and I took a picture of her with the caption “Taco Tuesday”. Now, this was NOT the most flattering photo of her but at the time I thought it was funny. I noticed it was screenshot a few times and thought nothing of it. By the next day, it was screenshot over 100 times. New captions of the photo came about with Photoshop edits. The worse one being “Feeding time at the Zoo” and her face replaced with an animal. Kids at my school have been running up to her bothering her asking “what’s for lunch”. She was so upset and I could feel her embarrassment. She started asking our friend group if they knew who posted the picture. I don’t know what to do. I want to tell her it was me who posted the first picture and that I’m sorry but I’m scared she will not forgive me. Should I tell her?
Sincerely,
The guilty paparazzi
Dear Abby,
ReplyDeleteI am a middle school teacher in an urban community. I witness many of my students entering into their first romantic relationships. I am proud to see so many boys and girls make smart choices, but sometimes I see things that are concerning. This year I have noticed two students - "Arianna" and "Isaiah" - spending more time together, and I've seen it having a negative effect on Arianna. She is coming to class late to see her new boyfriend in the hall. She has been fighting with girls that used to be friends because of issues that Isaiah instigates. I see Isaiah hugging other girls when she is not around, and I've heard him say things about her that are not always respectful.
I was hoping this would blow over on its own, but their relationship has gone on for months - a long time for middle schoolers! As a teacher, I am struggling with the best way to navigate this. Arianna and I do not have a particularly close relationship, and I worry about how my input would effect her. Another teacher has tried to speak to Arianna's mom, and she was not interested in getting advice from teachers.
Any advice for how to help or intervene would be greatly appreciated!
Sincerely,
Troubled Teacher
Dear Troubled Teacher,
DeleteIt can be tough to connect with a student when you don’t have a close relationship. Your constant concern in this young lady shows you do care. Sounds like Ariana wants to prove she is more mature than her classmates by continuing to be apart of this according to your observations, “longer than the norm” middle school relationship. She is trying to establish herself as “more adult” yet she might be unaware how negatively it's affecting her. Do some research of your own and see which teacher or staff member she does have a better relationship and share your concerns. Arianna still needs an adult figure to talk to. You may not think so but Arianna just like many young adolescents just wants to be heard and listened to. Reach out to your school psychologist too, they are great resources to have on hand to provide that extra support.
You could also consider to reach out to an older responsible student to come to your classroom an talk about the concerns of dating and respect, so it’s not singled out to just one student. Having someone closer to the age gap may help relate to your students about their current social issues.
Try to remember what you were like at her age, use it to help you understand what she might feel. She needs a positive role model, seeing a well adjusted adult or even an older classmate can promote positive self-esteem and push her in the direction of doing what is good for her.
Take care,
Abby
Reply inspired by the following Information from Chapter 4 of Brighton (2007)
“...needing to establish adult independence while frequently requiring and secretly desiring adult protection and security.” (p. 59.)
“...young adolescents want adult who will listen carefully to their concerns and complaints.” (p. 71)
Be a good role model.
"...one can be a model..." (p. 72)
“...it is good for adults to relive, in their own minds, some of their own triumphs and tragedies of young adolescents. (p. 73)
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ReplyDeleteDear Abby,
ReplyDeleteI need some advice. My daughter is a very sweet and responsible 12 years old. She has a cell phone because she takes the bus home and we like to know that we can contact her if there was an emergency when we are not with her. I worry about her spending too much time on her phone though so usually we ask that she leaves it in the kitchen to charge overnight and when she is doing her homework. This has recently become a source for argument, however. She complains that none of her friends have restrictions on time spent with their phones. It’s not that I don’t trust her but I just worry about her getting a good night sleep and not being so dependent and “plugged in” all the time.
Should I stick to my guns and keep our cell phone rules?
Sincerely,
The Cell Phone Police
Dear Cell Phone Police,
DeleteIt is hard to be a parent, especially to a young adolescent like your daughter. I have to commend you for setting expectations from the beginning around the cell phone. It is a great idea to have her leave the phone in the kitchen while she sleeps. This will help ensure she's getting the rest she needs to stay healthy and energized.
My advice would be to stick to your guns. Cell phones for teens are a privilege, not a necessity. Your daughter has the phone first and foremost so she can communicate with YOU, not her friends. As I'm sure you know, teens her age are susceptible to cyber bullying and sexting. It might be worth having a conversation with your daughter to be open and honest and to voice your concerns about both her well-being and her safety with this technology.
Keep up the great work!
-Abby
Dear Abby,
ReplyDeleteMy name is Sarah, and I've lost my bff Ava to a boy. The problem is that this other boy also happens to be my bff Ava. Since kindergarten, we have been besties. We live on the same street and go to the same school, so we have been together almost everyday since I can remember. Now that we are in middle school, things have been a little different because we are not always in the same classes. However, Ava has started to dress more and more like a boy, and acts like one too. In fact, now she wants to be called Rowan. Other boys call her Rowan and even our teachers call her Rowan. I feel so awkward around her ummm I mean him now. When Rowan comes over I don’t know what to say or do because she is trying so hard to be a boy. Should I end this friendship or try to get to know Rowan?
Sincerely,
Aggravated and confused friend